In recognition of National Men’s Health Week
It’s National Men’s Health Week here in Australia – a timely reminder to check in, speak up, and show up. But what happens when the men we love are nearing the end of life?
For many, talking about death still feels off-limits, especially for men. Years of cultural conditioning have taught them to ‘tough it out’, to be the strong one, to hold it all together. Vulnerability is rarely encouraged, and asking for help often feels like a sign of weakness. But it isn’t.
Dying doesn’t have to be endured in silence. It can be shared.
As an End of Life Doula, I’ve supported men and their families through life’s final chapter, both through my private practice and my volunteer work at the Central Adelaide Palliative Care ward.
In these settings, I’ve learned that the most powerful support often comes not from saying the perfect thing but simply from showing up and being present. Being real. Being human.
Here’s what that kind of support can look like in practice.
1. Be present, even in silence
You don’t need to have the right words. You don’t need to fill the space with conversation. Just being there – sitting beside them, watching TV, playing music, or sharing a comfortable silence – can provide more reassurance than any grand gesture.
Having someone present who truly sees them, without needing anything in return, helps ease loneliness and fear. It says: “You’re not alone in this.”
And sometimes, that’s everything.
2. Respect their pace and privacy
Not every man wants to talk about what’s happening. Some need time. Others may not have the words to express what they’re feeling.
What is important is to let the conversation unfold naturally, without pressure and without expectations.
Gentle, open-ended prompts like:
- “Would you like to talk about what’s on your mind?”
- “Is there anything you’ve been thinking about lately?”
- “Do you want to tell me the story behind that?”
These can open the door – even if just a little. But always meet them where they are, not where we think they should be.
3. Honour their story, not just their condition
At the end of life, there’s often a natural pull to look back. Men may revisit the work they’ve done, the people they’ve loved, the challenges they’ve faced, and the legacy they leave behind. This can be a deeply meaningful – and sometimes painful – process.
Invite their stories. Listen with interest and curiosity.
Legacy isn’t always about big gestures. Sometimes, it’s about a single memory, a handwritten note, a favourite saying, or a lesson passed down to the next generation. Every story matters. Every life deserves to be witnessed.
4. Offer practical help – but preserve dignity
Dignity is incredibly important, particularly for men who’ve spent a lifetime providing, leading, or fixing things.
It’s not always easy for them to accept help – especially with tasks that feel deeply personal or once effortless. Be sensitive. Ask rather than assume.
Instead of:
“I’ll take care of that for you.”
Try:
“Would you like a hand with that or prefer to do it yourself?”
Support should never feel like control.
5. Know when to bring in extra support
End of Life Doulas don’t replace family – we walk alongside you. We offer emotional and spiritual support, practical guidance, and space to process what’s happening. Sometimes, our presence also gives families permission to stop being the ‘strong one’ for a moment and just be present in their own feelings too.
When things feel overwhelming or unclear, having someone calm and experienced beside you can make a world of difference.
We’re there to hold the space, support communication, and make sure no one walks the path alone.
Let’s redefine what strength looks like
Strength isn’t found in silence. It’s found in honesty. In sitting with discomfort and laughing at old stories.
In crying when the moment calls for it. It’s in saying the things that matter – even when it’s hard. And in letting go with peace, not fear.
This Men’s Health Week, let’s remember that the men in our lives deserve more than quiet endurance. They deserve connection, dignity, choice, and to be deeply seen.
Let’s stop waiting for the ‘right time’ to have these conversations. Let’s start now.
If someone you love is facing a life-limiting illness, I’m here to walk beside you. Visit www.yourpathguide.com.au to learn more about how End of Life Doulas support men and their loved ones – with compassion, presence, and care.
Note: Your Path Guide is an Adelaide-based practice founded and owned by Shannon Beresford, an End of Life Doula and Sound Therapy Practitioner. He supports individuals and families through life’s most tender transitions, offering compassionate guidance with end of life planning, legacy work, grief support, and meaningful final journeys. With a calm and grounded approach, Shannon provides practical and emotional care tailored to each person’s unique path.
To find out more or connect with Shannon, visit www.yourpathguide.com.au
Your Path Guide Pty Ltd 